i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
