please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
