you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
