why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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