I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Vodka?
Forever.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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