Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
