she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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