haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
