margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
