I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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