oh god the rape fog is back!
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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