Screwed.edu
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He passed out mid-signature
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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