she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i think we sleep fucked last night...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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