What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
