It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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