You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
