No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
