He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I party with great urgency now.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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