she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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