is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize