Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
