Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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