Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Randomize
