woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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