just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
