so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
