Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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