He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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