Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
