Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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