I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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