what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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