my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
