He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
accomplished twins. life is a go
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
