omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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