I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
