Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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