Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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