Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
we should paint friendship bongs
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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