Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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