May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
