tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
