Michael Bay diarrhea
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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