can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
