All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
