so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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