The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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