Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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