Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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