Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
