apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
