its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize