have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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