She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We were destined to go to rehab together
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
