Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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