How'd it feel making her break her religion?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize