can u get pink eye on your cock?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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