I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
