my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
being pregnant is like rehab
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
