This girl is more easily done than said...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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