GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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