Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
