apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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