Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
