yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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