Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
