Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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