I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
