??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
